insomnia

November 6, 2009

4.53 am. Have been awake since 3am.

Today launching a new form of post: the “insomnia” post. This is a censored stream of consciousness post, with origins relating to the “morning pages” concept from the famous Artist’s Way course. Anyone also struggling with insomnia is free to comment here.

The insomnia post can only be written under conditions of extreme sleep deprivation. Generally just write any thought that comes into consciousness, but in contrast to morning pages, editing is allowed.

Why blog? That’s a good question for today, lack of sleep produces thought disorder which means it’s incredibly hard to stay on one topic, hopefully adding some of spice to the post. My blog is a kind of net to catch the random thoughts for the day, rather than drive myself crazy with an endless stream of ideas for writing topics, which has been happening for years. I blog to get myself writing, as a kind of kick-start for something. What?

My daughter sings in the room next door, she’s been doing that for about an hour now. Strange things happen on insomnia nights, children move around and beds break. My hoodie has lost it’s zipper.

I guess we also blog because we want someone else to read our thoughts, otherwise we could just write a journal. I do like visitors (watching the stats) – but then again I don’t – why would anyone want to read this tripe? I like the blogging community of writers who have never met but leave nice comments on each other’s musings. Now that I have a link from my facebook page, someone I actually know may read this – which is much scarier than complete strangers. I’m still unsure about the facebook linkup.

The other question about blogging is does it benefit anyone else? obviously in my case the main beneficiaries are people who dream about tsunamis and people who are afraid of death. There are a lot of those in the world, I have disocovered. The reason those posts have been beneficial is that people have commented about their own experience. So maybe in future I will write more discussion posts.

Does a blog need a theme? Mine is eclectic because my brain is very random. Blog statistics are interesting because you can find out exactly how many people have visited your blog, which posts they viewed and which pages referred them here. When I post every day, traffic to the blog increases, but not necessarily to the recent posts – which I can’t quite figure out.

Sympathetic insomnia is interesting, or tandem insomnia. Sometimes I wake at odd hours, unable to get back to sleep and often I am visited by the small presence of my 3 year old son, who lies next to me for hours wide awake. Now, who is keeping who awake? This doesn’t seem any good for anyone. We may be pretty quiet there, but sometimes my daughter (18 months) also wakes up and she doesn’t have the option of joining us because she is stuck in her cot. So she lies there and sings in solidarity. Recently I have been surprised that it is possible to get on with life with so little sleep. Of course I can’t remember any of it any more…

Maybe one day I will end up like the guy in “Memento” (movie) constantly leaving notes for myself, or the people in the town in 100 Years of Solitude (Marquez) who suffered from an insomnia plague. Gradually everyone’s memories deteriorated to the point where they had to label the furniture to remember its name and use. I have sympathy for that.

Now it’s 5.35 and my son, who insists I rest my feet on his bed while I sit in a chair to work at night, is asleep. My daughter isn’t singing any more, and I haven’t had any coffee. Maybe that’s my chance…

 

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blogthings

May 13, 2007

I couldn’t resist this site, because the quizzes are mercifully short. I’ve just put in the results I liked!


Your Hidden Talent


You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.
And while this may not seem big, it can be.
It’s people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.
You’re just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.
What’s Your Hidden Talent?

You Are 80% A Child of the 80s


Not only did you experience the 80s… you are practically an expert.
You should be totally stoked!
Are You a Child of the 80s?

You Are a Mac


You are creative, stylish, and super trendy.
You demand the best – even if it costs an arm and a leg.
Are You a Mac or a PC?

You Are 79% Creative


You are beyond creative. You are a true artist – even if it’s not in the conventional sense of the word.
You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times.
How Creative Are You?

You Are 34% Evil


A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.
How Evil Are You?

Your Personality Is Like Ecstasy


You’re usually feeling the love for the world around you – you want to hug everyone.
And while you’re usually content to sit back and view the world with wonder…
Sometimes you’re world becomes very overwhelming and a little scary.
What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

poo and happiness

April 12, 2007

I had long suspected a connection between poo and happiness. This realisation gradually dawned on me over more than a year of changing nappies for two in addition to (and preceded by) caring for Ellie the Funt.

My suspicions were first confirmed by the sensational recent Australian movie, Kenny in which our protagonist is a Porta-Loo manager, happy as a pig in mud. He is really doing the world an essential service, and has a sense of purpose and importance. And so he should. After all human waste is ubiquitous and someone really needs to maintain those systems for dealing with it.

My natural reaction to poo is, like anyone’s, a normal “eww, yucky” feeling on first encountering the poo. God forbid, you don’t want to get it on your fingers. But the encounter is also strangely grounding. To come face to face (or face to bottom) with the waste products of one’s children does something to one’s sense of connectedness, somehow.

And last night on the SBS program, Insight, with my hero Jenny Brockie my suspicions were confirmed. It’s a fantastic talkback TV program that deals with interesting topics superbly and last night’s topic was, would you believe it “Happiness“. And the champion case example of happiness, was, would you believe a sewerage worker. I have forgotten the guy’s name. But he exhibited all the core features of happiness: a sense of purpose, a sense of connection to others, involvement in one’s work etc…

And for me, a penny dropped, another link in the chain. I’m starting to think I’m onto something, the association of poo and happiness.

bump bumpy bumpity poo

March 27, 2007

Yes, I have been spending too much time with the under-2’s

bumpity bump

March 27, 2007

That was so much fun I thought I’d do it again…

bump

March 27, 2007

It’s the lowest trick in the book, I am just bumping this blog along so I don’t have to keep looking at the last post…

1907 trivia

March 5, 2007

Here are a few things that happened in 1907…

* Inspector-General of the Insane condemned the practice of charging attempted suicides with a crime

* A campaign was launched to lure British to Australia

* Cooktown devastated by a cyclone

* Carlton and United Breweries was formed

* Broken Hill was proclaimed a city

* Peters began manufacturing ice-cream in Sydney

* Murwillumbah was almost wiped out by fire

* The Northern Territory joined the Commonwealth

* Courts laid down the principle of a minimum wage for male workers

From a toddler perspective a box of sultanas is a wonderful thing. It’s a toy that can be played with as well as a food. Sultanas can be scattered and fought over with siblings as well as eaten.

Success.

From a distracted mother’s point of view, especially when there are a few chores to be done, sultanas can also be a success. The silence is ear-splitting. No one is wrapped around her legs.

The proud hausfrau on the other hand is not so impressed. Squished sultanas on the carpet and half chewed ones in every crevice – not so fun.

I wonder if the few minutes silence is worth the cleaning of squishy fruit?

From the bringer of momentous trivia…

weight loss program

February 5, 2007

So I’m on a new diet, and have quite a lot of confidence in it. I’m in the kitchen preparing a few truckloads of vegetables and I ask my husband a question:

Me: “So, do you think I can do it? Think I can lose 10 kilos?”
H: “Sure you can”
Me: “Great, thanks”
H: “Actually, you could lose 6 kilos tonight if you wanted.”
Me: (ears perking up) “Oh? How’s that?”
H: “I could cut your leg off”

Couldn’t resist putting that one on there…

Let’s face it, no one sticks a giant inflatable Jesus on the front of their house for the Christmas season. No sir, it’s just Santa and the reindeers, some mistletoe, maybe the occasional angel. No one even puts a baby on there to suggest that someone was being born on the day in question.

Not that I really want to sound like one of those boring preachy people who drone on about the “commercialisation of Christmas” ad nauseam and advocate against any kind of fun-having behaviours. I’m all for fun and celebration, wine etc, as I’m sure was Jesus himself.

But I really think it’s worth asking the question. What would He do, if He was to drop into our century for Christmas. Firstly, he would not be in the shopping mall. Actually, if he was to go to a shopping mall, look at the Christmas trees and decorations and listen to some hideous Christmas carols, I’m sure Jesus would be outraged (or quietly contemptuous). What’s more, he’s got his name attached to this dreadful festival which I’m sure was never intended. He might overturn a few tables. Yell at a few moneychangers. I’m sure His encounter with the shopping lunacy would not be pretty.

After that, he might start changing some water into wine for a real celebration somewhere. But he’d be unlikely to restrict this to “just the family”. He’d simply round up everyone who was willing and crowd them onto a large hill probably. He’d then supply loaves and fishes all round and the aforementioned wine. There would be a massive crowd, all listening to some profound wisdoms and eating and drinking. No presents. Not a single Playstation to be seen. We wouldn’t have tedious party hats and plastic favours and dreadful fruit cake. No having to listen to Aunt Whoosie drone on for four hours, because she’d get lost in the crowd and have so many people to bore.

Some of us might get the idea. We might be sitting at our family lunch, opening the zillionth tie or bath gel from our relatives and gaze in surprise at the huge party on the hill. We might invent an excuse “walking off the dinner” to wander over there. Grab some fish and a cup of wine. Chat to the local homeless guy, who thinks it’s Christmas. Sit down with the lonely, the dispossessed and the refugees, sharing the simple feast. Hang out with our friends.

In addition to the feast, Jesus might perform a miracle or two, just to test if we were concentrating. He might cure some illnesses or eradicate a couple of demons. He would possibly create a new parable just for the occasion.

I think it would be fun, if Jesus was here for Christmas.