insomnia

November 6, 2009

4.53 am. Have been awake since 3am.

Today launching a new form of post: the “insomnia” post. This is a censored stream of consciousness post, with origins relating to the “morning pages” concept from the famous Artist’s Way course. Anyone also struggling with insomnia is free to comment here.

The insomnia post can only be written under conditions of extreme sleep deprivation. Generally just write any thought that comes into consciousness, but in contrast to morning pages, editing is allowed.

Why blog? That’s a good question for today, lack of sleep produces thought disorder which means it’s incredibly hard to stay on one topic, hopefully adding some of spice to the post. My blog is a kind of net to catch the random thoughts for the day, rather than drive myself crazy with an endless stream of ideas for writing topics, which has been happening for years. I blog to get myself writing, as a kind of kick-start for something. What?

My daughter sings in the room next door, she’s been doing that for about an hour now. Strange things happen on insomnia nights, children move around and beds break. My hoodie has lost it’s zipper.

I guess we also blog because we want someone else to read our thoughts, otherwise we could just write a journal. I do like visitors (watching the stats) – but then again I don’t – why would anyone want to read this tripe? I like the blogging community of writers who have never met but leave nice comments on each other’s musings. Now that I have a link from my facebook page, someone I actually know may read this – which is much scarier than complete strangers. I’m still unsure about the facebook linkup.

The other question about blogging is does it benefit anyone else? obviously in my case the main beneficiaries are people who dream about tsunamis and people who are afraid of death. There are a lot of those in the world, I have disocovered. The reason those posts have been beneficial is that people have commented about their own experience. So maybe in future I will write more discussion posts.

Does a blog need a theme? Mine is eclectic because my brain is very random. Blog statistics are interesting because you can find out exactly how many people have visited your blog, which posts they viewed and which pages referred them here. When I post every day, traffic to the blog increases, but not necessarily to the recent posts – which I can’t quite figure out.

Sympathetic insomnia is interesting, or tandem insomnia. Sometimes I wake at odd hours, unable to get back to sleep and often I am visited by the small presence of my 3 year old son, who lies next to me for hours wide awake. Now, who is keeping who awake? This doesn’t seem any good for anyone. We may be pretty quiet there, but sometimes my daughter (18 months) also wakes up and she doesn’t have the option of joining us because she is stuck in her cot. So she lies there and sings in solidarity. Recently I have been surprised that it is possible to get on with life with so little sleep. Of course I can’t remember any of it any more…

Maybe one day I will end up like the guy in “Memento” (movie) constantly leaving notes for myself, or the people in the town in 100 Years of Solitude (Marquez) who suffered from an insomnia plague. Gradually everyone’s memories deteriorated to the point where they had to label the furniture to remember its name and use. I have sympathy for that.

Now it’s 5.35 and my son, who insists I rest my feet on his bed while I sit in a chair to work at night, is asleep. My daughter isn’t singing any more, and I haven’t had any coffee. Maybe that’s my chance…

 

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