twin dilemmas

July 17, 2006

What does a mother of identical twins do, if.. One twin outperforms the other in some way? One twin is slower, quicker, more intelligent, has more friends, fatter, thinner… than the other?

Encourage the one who’s ahead and you risk creating misery for the other, but fail to encourage the one who’s ahead and they may learn there’s no point trying as their efforts go unnoticed. Give more attention to the lagging one because he’s feeling bad, but again the other doesn’t get his reward.

How does a mother try to do both things at once? I guess the answer is simple really, just do both things. You love them whether they are succeeding or failing, and in the end it doesn’t matter which one it is, the important thing is they are loved.

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3 Responses to “twin dilemmas”

  1. dan Says:

    Aha, something I can speak on with authority. As an identical twin, I would say that the most important thing is to not treat your twins as twins, but as unique individuals with different gifts and talents. Kids understand that they are different and have different things to offer – in fact in my experience twins are likely to embrace the things that are different about them (because that is the part that makes us special and individual).

    The thing that used to get up our noses was when our parents compared our achievements, either expressly or impliedly. But as long as they loved and supported us both we were pretty forgiving even of that.

  2. Amanda Says:

    or failing that, you could choose a favourite 😉

    thanks for reading my blog! I am enjoying reading yours too. Did you know you can put photos of the darling boys on flickr and link it to your blog? You can limit who can see the photos
    as well.

    A*


  3. very insightful read, thankyou.

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